ktravula – a travelogue!

Browsing ktravula – a travelogue! blog archives for August, 2010.

The End of the World

There are some things I probably shouldn’t be thinking about, especially since they usually don’t lead anywhere beyond the ceilings of my room and the rotating fan. I dose off, wake up again and worry about other things. One of them is the issue of the rapture, or the end of the world, as we were earnestly taught as kids by zealous pentecostal pastors. It is different from the real “End of the World” as prophesied in the book of Revelation where everything is destroyed and “no stone is left on another”. Actually, when I think about it, they are both very different views of the same event, and pretty confusing. The world ends. Time stops. The sun goes dim. In one other account, things get pretty messy and everything is destroyed. In the other, Christ shows up in the sky, and “all eyes (shall) see him.” (Rev. 1.7)

Actually, it is the “all eyes shall see him” part that has often got me pretty confused, and for good reason: The world is not flat. Maybe technically, the bible didn’t mean that all eyes would see him at the same time but the preachers who preached to us before the age of reason made real sure that that was the impression we got. He would come like a thief in the night and he may catch us doing bad, bad things. So we ought to be careful, and clean, and holy at all times. Well, were that possible, there would have been no sinners in the world. No sin, in fact, and no wars, and everywhere would be happy. Unfortunately, we have crushes (which until I was around 18 I thought was a sin), we lust after people, we have affairs, we lie, we steal and we cheat if it suits our purposes. If I’d known that even preachers had crushes, I’d have had a better luck with the first crush of my adult life whom I met in a church. 🙂

So I’ve figured it out, that part about all eyes seeing him. The Lord, if he would come to the world again, would have to deal with the issue of time zones which would really ruin his surprise. If the world were flat, he may appear to all at the same time, and there will be no hitches. But thank providence for CNN and 24 hour cable, as soon as he lands anywhere on this planet, we will begin to have “Jesus spottings” on TV and twitter, and people of the other parts of the world where he has not appeared will have enough time to prepare for him, repenting of their sins, kissing their girlfriends for the last time, or generally being silly in preparation of his coming. In any case, he could turn out to have a better sense of humour than we credit him for. Or maybe he will turn out like the Jehovah’s Witnesses have described him, gentle and wise, come to make peace on earth so we can all live happily ever after. I’d love that, because I’d really really hate the Statue of Liberty to be destroyed by his coming before I have a chance to get to its crown.

PS: The story of the white cross in that picture, and the crate of concrete beside it is an interesting one for another day.

Happy Birthday Yemi

Pacing idly, and sometimes with valuable purposes around the dusty streets of the city of our childhood, I remember you there a little centimeters taller. That has changed now. I bet you would strain your neck just to give me a peck on the cheeks.

Do you remember Gbagi? What of Akobo, Sogo, Omojola, Baba Baale, Lanko-Lanko, Falusi, Iya Lararo, Imafoje, Ore? What about Basorun, F’Ogbon Yo, En’balaya, Dele Tomori and the lovely Christmases at the Broadcasting House? Do you remember Orita Obele? What about Oba Ile, and the day you peeled your calf almost to the bone because you wanted to shave with daddy’s shaving stick? That was freaky, seeing the white of your flesh before it turned red all over the bathroom floor. Do you still picture Fatom, Stay-fit and Deol? Then there was that day when that old governor gave you and I a hundred naira in 1990 or so. Well, I’ve now given my own part to charity :). I think it was to the guy at the airport in May who wanted some “American gift” from me when I returned. Or something like that.

Well, well, the days go by fast, don’t they? Laitan can’t even remember half of it now. And there you are all grown up and mummy-like. A small-sized big-shot but still not beyond some good old carrying and spinning. And I will carry you again. Let Leke and Jolaade go find their own sisters to carry around ;).

Happy Birthday lovely sister. I hope you had a wonderful day.

Summer is Over. Is It?

I’ve never seen summer. I’ve seen spring, along with beautiful green leaves all around an equally beautiful campus. I have seen winter, and snow whitening the land as if to prove a certain point to all foreign-born residents. I’ve seen fall, with leaves brown and restless, flowing with the cooling wind. But summer? No. What on earth is it?

Is it like hell, with an absolutely unbearable temperature which keeps people mostly indoors and all public parks free of visitors? Or is it like the oven? Is it like Kano, the reputed July heat that causes meningitis or just like a milder version of the microwave. Do the leaves shrivel? Do they sway? Are they beautiful or are they grey?

I’m not here to write poetry, so tell me what it looks like. Did I miss anything in my absence from the scene of action? Well I left that place in the middle of May just when the almighty summer was supposed to have begun. If I return there now, what will I find? Fall, no doubt. Summer would have escaped from my grasp once again. What did I miss?

The highest temperature here was around 29 degrees Celcius. That would be like 84 in America. There was this rumour that temperature in America was up to 90 in some places. Oh my, that would be like the temperature in Maiduguri on a regular afternoon. That means that my American friends could actually come and spend their summer in Nigeria. Go figure. Much of this country is actually cooler than 29 during this period. And it rains too. Oh, the rains! I should be glad I’m here.

Alright, I will return to that place, but not until the famed summer is over. Is it, yet? I like Fall. I like brown leaves that remind me of the leaf covers of eko and moin-moin made by old women in Ibadan villages. I like the way they look in photographs too. Who wants a hot summer when they can spend cool raining seasons in Ibadan, Lagos, and all over Nigeria eating spicy food, playing uncle, buying fuel in jerry cans, making day and night calls, killing mosquitos and generally playing he traveller?

And by the way, when I return to the States, let no one ask me how I spent my summer. I did not. You did.

I Believe, I think, Unfortunately!

I believe in development.

But many times, if you would ask me to tell you what exactly would be my indices of development, I might not immediately be able to point at much. (It would depend on where I am, won’t it?) But if you asked me about Nigeria, the first would definitely be a 24 hour power supply and a fast, reliable internet access. Then a repair of local fabric industries in Kaduna, a return of groundnut pyramids in Kano, cocoa farms in Ibadan and coal in Enugu.

But then if we had all of that, plus a higher life expectancy, healthy food for (almost) all, good healthcare and good social services, I’m pretty sure that we’ll still find something to complain about if we wanted it badly enough. Won’t we? There seems to be an inherent cynicism that never seems to go anywhere. We may start complaining that the neighbouring country seemed to be getting more action in the international scene and we want some of the action too. I bet that one of the reason why the first democratic dispensation was scuttled was that people still weren’t satisfied with the situation of the time even though they had better food, better education and better healthcare. This is not a Nigerian problem. It’s humanity’s.

However, I believe so much in the potential for development in Nigeria especially, and the tendency for things to get better if we talk about them often, commit ourselves into making them work, and helping to maintain current structures that already serve us well. But some times it seems pretty much like a futile effort with no light at the end of the tunnel. In the end, every drop of contribution will go a long way into producing a flood of results.

I’m sounding like a politician or someone hoping to run for public office, right? I hope not, because behind the hope and optimism is a nagging skepticism. I’d just read the preface to George Carlin’s Brain Droppings again. George is an amazingly creative thinker whose ideas sometimes frighten me within the folds of their allure. Here we do not completely agree, but I’ve read the words very many times over and I find them interesting. Listen to him though:

“My interest in ‘issues’ is merely to point out how badly we’re doing, not to suggest a way we might do better. Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how the ‘ought to be.’ And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. I sincerely believe that if you think there’s a solution, you’re part of the problem. My motto: Fuck Hope…” He continues “I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don’t confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything’s gonna be all right…”

Could he be right? I sometimes wish I could say all that. And then I remember that my name isn’t George, I’m not Irish American, and I don’t occupy the same societal milieu as the comedian who died at 71 in 2008. In this day of terrorist threats, fear of the apocalypse, global warming/climate change, handguns infiltrations, gun-totting robbers, unsafe cars, non-universal healthcare, unsafe drugs, and underpaid airplane pilots among others, we’ll be lucky to even make it to 50. It certainly requires more than just a few shots of illegal drugs in one’s veins to adopt such a confident stance in the preface to a best-selling work. Personal confidence with a large shot of daredevilry is much needed. With all that however, perhaps a nagging inability to look into the eye of day, yell “Fuck Hope” and really mean it, and move on with life has kept me from the really funner roles.

___________________

Pictures taken at the 350 vigil in front of the White House on December 13th 2009 organized to pressure the government to take (its commitment on) Climate Change more seriously.

Quotable

“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.” Author unknown.

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