Here’s an old joke I first heard 2001. The characters in it are no longer as relevant as before, but with President Hu of China presently in the United States on a state visit, you might still get some laugh out of it. It’s something about language, accents and idiosyncrasies.
Merry Christmas to you blog readers. May the joy of the season delight your heart. Enjoy this video in within mouthsful of delicious food and conversation.
A joke.
A man walked into the produce (foodstuff) section of a supermarket in Port Harcourt, Nigeria, and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about his request.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, “One idiot wan buy half head of lettuce.” As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “but this Oga here don kindly agree to buy the other half.” The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier today, we like people who think on their feet here”. “Where are you from, son?”
“Warri, sir.” the boy replied.
“Well, why did you leave Warri?” the manager asked.
The boy said, “Oga, nothing dey there apart from ashawo* and footballers”.
“Really?” said the manager. “My wife is from Warri.”
“Really?” replied the boy. “Which club she been dey play for?
______________
Culled.
*ashawo = Prostitutes
It’s the second resurection of Christ. Before the world ends he wants to take in some fishing. So he gets his friend Moses and they head up to the Cougar Lake to fish. They are about to rent a canoe when Moses says:
“Jesus, can’t you still walk on water? Why not just walk out there?” So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps onto the lake….and falls knee deep in water.
Moses says, “Well….maybe you need a head start or something, why not go to the end of the dock and try.”
So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps off the end of the dock and falls up to his waist.
Moses says, ” Well why not rent the boat, go out to the center of the lake and try there.”
So they rent the boat and go to the middle of the lake, Jesus is about to step off and try again when…
Moses says, “Wait. Just to be safe, why not get yourself into the state of mind you were in the first time you did it.”
So Jesus sets down, meditates for a few minutes, and finally he’s all psyched up, and steps out of the canoe…. ..and precedes to drown. So Moses does the water parting thing, and pulls Jesus up into the boat.
Jesus is just beating himself up over this. He just doesn’t see what’s going wrong here. Moses just stares down at the bottom of the boat.
Suddenly, Moses says, “I got it! I know what’s wrong! Did you have those holes in your feet last time?!?!”
__________
Culled