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The News Paradox

The biggest headline on today’s St. Louis Post-Dispatch is the story of a family found dead in their home, killed in a domestic dispute. A few days ago, it was the tragedy in Joplin, and before that the story of someone sentenced for having shot two or three people to death. What is common to all the headlines I have read in this paper since I’ve had access to it is the way they meticulously document the tragedies that happen around us every day. I have a problem with that – not in the fact that tragedy happens, but in the way it assaults my senses when I wake up in the morning. I don’t know about you, but I like to have my breakfast while reading something even remotely encouraging. So I skip to the art section to read cartoons, and reviews.

“Do you think it leads to a kind of schizophrenia” Ron asked me once, “when you live every day as ordinarily as possible, and then open the paper and see news of murder, accidents, death sentences etc that you never hear of during the day?” It might, I believe, if one spends everyday poring through the many sad news scattered around the pages of the daily. St. Louis has been called the most dangerous city in America – no doubt because of the amount of bad press it gets, yet in all my visits the city, even to the so called dangerous parts, I have never encountered anything remotely frightening. But there it is: a city judged by the media reports of the amounts of crimes that take place within its borders. I guess if one were to make travel or leisure plans based on media reports alone, we would never go anywhere.

A friend of mine said his biggest fear of coming to America was based on the fear of coming to school one day (or walking on the street) and having someone come in and start shooting, or hold everyone up at gun point. Thanks to Hollywood, cable tv and news reports from America to all the parts of the world, reckless use of firearms tops the list of the most defining characteristics of the country’s street life. And yet – until I went with a group of friends to a firing range just a few weeks ago – I had never seen a gun with anyone in the country except the cops (who always have them safely tucked in their holsters). People who make a decision about visiting Nigeria from reading what the papers report every day will go through this same schizzy process of reconciling the normal everyday life of its citizens, comparable to any elsewhere in the world, with the newspapers’ fascination with tragedy.

Do newspapers know just how much they influence foreigner perception. Well, of course they do. But what can they do about it?

How to Become a Language Snob

Inspired by Clarissa’s list of “20 Ways to Become Known as a Male Chauvinist“, I am compiling my own top ten list of How to be Known As a Language Snob, along with extra points.

___________________________

1. Whenever you meet someone from a different country tell them “I like your accent. You don’t speak like other _____________ (fill in country name) that I have met.”

2. After meeting someone for the first time, let your idea of a compliment to them be “Oh you speak good English.” For extra points, ask them where they learnt to speak it so well.

3. Whenever someone says to you “I like your accent too”, look insulted and ask in a high voice, “I have an accent? What do you mean I have an accent?” For extra points, be actually insulted by that.

4. Be disgusted by people speaking their local language around you. For extra point, go to them (whether you know them or not) and ask them to speak English instead. After all, they are in America.

5. If you come from a multilingual society, pretend that English is the only language worthy of learning by your children. Punish them if they speak the mother tongue. Don’t speak it to them. For extra points, justify this by saying that “In today’s world, English is the only language worth learning.”

6. Wonder aloud many times why anyone speaks any other language at all no matter where they live. Ask “Why can’t they all learn English?”

7. Fail students who write “spelled” as spelt, learned as learnt, “labor” as labour and “neighbor” as “neighbour”. For extra points, tell them that they have spent enough time in the USA to know how those words should be spelt.

8. When someone tells you that their course of study is linguistics, ask them what the importance of that course of study is. When they tell you, ask them why they didn’t study business instead.

9. When someone tells you that their course of study is Teaching English as a Second Language, tell them without prompting that it is a good idea because they would finally be able to return to their home countries to teach the people there how to speak English.

10. Complain that the reason you did poorly in a class was because the accent of the teacher was too thick for you to understand/process. For extra points, wonder why the university didn’t employ a full-blooded American for the position instead of foreigners.

When the World Ends

One of my earliest curiosities must be tugging at my mother’s wrapper in a tenacious effort to get her to answer a simple question: who created God? I don’t remember how we got there, or how young I was, but I remember her replying “Well, you can’t understand now. Nobody understands. Just content yourself with the fact that He created the world. How He himself got created is beyond us.” I found it very unsatisfactory and resolved that she was not the one to trust with the big questions trolling my very young mind. Since then, or since many months before, the idea of God, Christianity and the way the world was formed, or will end, took on a sharp turn and ceased to make as much sense to me as it should have, considering the amount of exposure I had. It however never failed to keep me questioning, looking for right answers.

If God created us, and the world, then someone or something must have created him – I thought – or it all makes no sense. Of course, I later encountered evolution and its sharp contrast with the story of the Garden of Eden – except of course we agree that the Garden came after very many years of evolution and is just a metaphor for the very beginning of consciousness. The idea of an all-knowing, all powerful priest/pastor/preacher never made sense to me either as it always sought to cast them as possessing of something bigger and purer than us ordinary folks. It was an unnecessary distraction, as all I always wanted to know after meeting any one of those holy men was the ordinary detail of their lives. That always yielded enough to justify my constant skepticism.

And so one day in 1994, some rumour started that the world was going to end, and the whole country – at least my circle of friends – went into a frenzy. Then the day went by and nothing happened, as we already guessed it would not. It however confirmed what I’d always thought: no one knew jack about anything, but it didn’t stop them from making things up that suited their imagination. In this case however, mother had a different nugget of brilliance: “Rapture is individual, and it comes to you when your time on earth is up.” Finally, that made some sense. I had got the right response to throw at the silly circle of impressionable friends who believed that the world was going to end and we were all going to go flying into the sky all at once – in spite of time zone differences (This bit made it seem a little unfair, in my opinion. No doubt, the right time of the rapture would definitely fall during the sleeping hours of people in some countries.) In any case, that was that.

A Sad Day in America

Today ended like a dream, a series of surreal hours that – one after the other – confirmed some of the worst fears of sane tolerant people. I’m disappointed like I’ve never before been in the political process and a certain intolerance best exemplified by what had just happened. It was unbelievable. The president of the United States had called a press conference, cutting into all live shows around the country, to show a final definite proof that he was born in the country as he had always said he was: a long hand birth certificate. It was the first of any president.

For me, this is sad on many levels, and race had a very large role to play. A few minutes after the White House released said birth certificate which they had got on request from the records office in Hawaii to put the controversy to rest, media mogul Donald Trump – also a contender for the next election – went to a press conference not just taking credit for the disclosure but also asking for the president’s college transcripts thus casting doubts on his qualifications as well.

I am a firm believer in the inner goodness of every human being in spite of their colour. I approached this country and people with the same open mindedness and was – like everyone else around the world – ecstatic and absolved when Obama was elected in 2008 in spite of what many considered his biggest obstacle: the colour of his skin. And then, from then, disappointed as to how every criticism of his policies seemed to come with something more than just a mere disagreement with economic policies. The press conference by Mr. Trump exemplified for me an unfortunate culmination of an underlying culture of intolerance.

First he said the president wasn’t born where he said he was, then he said the president had paid over $2m to prevent himself from having to show the document. A few weeks ago, he said he had sent investigators to Hawaii and he “couldn’t believe what they’re finding.” This, we found, was a lie, as Anderson Cooper found out after sending his own reporters to Hawaii. It turned out that Trump’s men either haven’t been there, or haven’t spoken to any relevant people as they should have. Yet he kept hyping the issue up for ratings in the media. Today, as the document finally surfaced, you would think he would back down. No, “we will get experts to examine it,” he said. For a moment there, I remembered another third world country – Ivory Coast – where Laurent Gbagbo had used a similar case of citizenship to keep his opponent away from the political process for many years. Many years, thousands of lives, and a brutal civil war later, we know where Gbagbo now sleeps, and in what bad shape his country is. It’s not the perfect analogy, but it’s not too far off either. The script is the same: “show us your papers and we’d let you play.”

I don’t think that many Americans realize just how bad this reflects on the country to the rest of the world, and that makes it a little more unfortunate. I’m not American and may never try to be one. But seeing how the country treats its own and one of its best leaves very much to be desired. This piece published today puts it in very good perspective. (Thanks to Nneoma for the link)

Best Poker Destinations

Playing video poker online is fun, but playing at the best poker rooms in the world is amazing. Determining the best poker rooms in the world is easy, especially considering all of them are based in the United States. There are a few new US poker rooms on this list, as well as some classic options. This list also contains the best choices for those who like to play poker online.

Live Poker Rooms

1. The Bellagio – This is the classiest poker room in existence. It’s also the most comfortable and best run poker room in the world. However, it’s not the right choice for everyone. The stakes are high and getting into the games is only possible if you have money.

2. Commerce Casino – If you’re a fan of great poker tournaments, this is the poker room for you. It’s possible to buy-in for a moderate amount and go home a millionaire. There are also 200 tables, so finding a good game is easy. The more tables, the more fish.

3. Foxwoods – This is used to be #1. It’s still the biggest casino in the world, but they made a mistake with the poker room. The poker room used to be upstairs. Being able to look out enormous windows at an expansive forest was a very neat atmosphere. Then they chose to move the poker room downstairs, which is dark and ugly. Even the bathrooms are tiny downstairs. If Foxwoods was smart, they would change it back to the way they had it before. However, the action here is still great.

4. The Mirage – If you want a plain and simple poker room with a lot of games and friendly people, this is the place to play. There is nothing extraordinary about the poker room at The Mirage, but it’s still a very enjoyable experience. They don’t try to go over the top. They focus on service, comfort, and convenience. Not to mention they also host the most fired up blackjack tournaments in the world with the best of the best always showing up every year.

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