Browsing the archives for the Observations category.

Corrigedum

When we were in the first year of university, there was this course in the Communications Department in which students had to read Nigerian national dailies and spot grammatical errors. For many of my friends taking the course for the first time, it was a great surprise to them to learn that Nigerian newspapers make grave grammatical errors everyday in their editorials, opinion and even education pages. Yesterday I had another one of those crazy moments of panic when I found out one of my own errors. My heart flew into my mouth and I feel almost like disappearing into the ground. I had been reading through one of the last posts on this page, when I spotted a sentence. The process was always the same: I’ll be reading through a line I’d read through very many times before without having seen anything, then something would strike me, I’ll look at it again, and see the error. And my heart would begin to race.

What I had written while composing the post at the time was “I greeted you…” then I remember going back to change it to “I used to greet you…”. But as it turned out, I had forgotten to remove the “–ed” at the back of the “greet” so the sentence read “I used to greeted you…”* Oh my!

I hate it when that happens, and it does a lot because writing a blogpost is always and trial and error thing. One would write something, publish it and then discover an error. One would correct it, publish, and see another. Sometimes I never see it until very many days later. Some I never see at all, and I have sometimes wondered how many new visitors had spotted it and gone with the first impression: “Oh, what an idiot.”

It’s not always funny when I think about it though. I spot errors easily in other people’s writings, even without looking for them, but not in mine. How does that happen? Is it a writer’s disease? (And has it had gotten worse since I took on Wole Soyinka’s play? Haha!) According to George Carlin, the reason why a writer would never commit suicide is that s/he would most likely spend the whole day, and following weeks, trying to write a perfect suicide note, and would never be satisfied with the wordings. Maybe Carlin was right, or not, but I know that he surely didn’t have a blog in mind.

Oh, how I miss the good old days when my dedicated editors Tayo, Yemi and Zainab used to read the posts before anyone else did. The point of this post is to apologise in advance for all past and future errors :). Maybe I should now throw my editor position available. Anyone wants to apply? Perfect candidate: an insomniac. Remuneration: US gold quarters 😉

On Wednesday

Silence all around the campus, three young men and a girl pace around the parking lot opposite the Arts Theatre, sharing jokes and catching up on old times. Amidst occasional passage of cars between them and the Theatre across the road, there were smiles and jabs. They were young, and happy.

Then two girls walk by. One of them was white, possibly American. He had been told that a few American students might have arrived on this campus for a few weeks of study. Could these be some of them? The one in front – if American – would not be older than twenty years. She had dark shades on. The other was black but could also be foreign going by their pesky walk and general attitude to the campus environment.

“Oyinbo, bawo ni?” Segun quipped as they walked by, half smiling but not totally with an expectation of a fast informed response.
“Hey Dudu, how are you too?” She responded, just as quickly, pronouncing the dudu like doo-doo. And she kept walking, perhaps even giggling with her friends as she went away.

She had won. It was too sudden for Segun to grasp, and the girl had already gone too far from him to hear whatever he had to come up with afterwards. “Touche,” someone said, laughing, and it was one of those moments of fun enlightenment.

His friends could only gape, giggle and to laugh at their own errant selves, and the young quick-witted foreign student now forever etched in their memory.

New World Cup Words

For those following this blog and the World Cup 2010 going on in South Africa, the following might come in handy. New words…

1. “Kaitastrophy” (as seen on Facebook): Derived from the name of the Nigerian player who got the team’s first red card due to a misbehaviour. Usage: “What a kaitastrophy!” or “What a kaitastrophic performance/act.”

2. “KTravuzela” or “KTravuvuzela” or “Travuzela” (coined): A musical instrument almost like the horn used for celebration and jubilation. It is more musical and less noisy as the South African vuvuzela. The problem is, it is in short supply, and can only be blown around the Traveller. Usage: “Would you like to blow my KTravuvuzela?” There are usually no double entendres intended.

PS: The Nigerian team is not out yet, so I bet there will me more opportunities to make up more words as the game progresses. Go Mexico. Go USA! Go Nigeria.

Candid

Seen at UCH, Ibadan.

The inscription on the wall beside the man reads “Don’t Urinate Here…”

One Month After

Thirty days after packing my bags and hopping on the plane from St. Louis outwards from the United States, it is time already to take stock of what I’ve learnt so far.

1. That Paypal doesn’t work in Nigeria.

2. That one year of living in America has turned my football allegiance from my colonial masters (who originated the game) to my host country. Go Team USA! (at least until you meet with Nigeria).

3. That all anxieties about returning to a long-missed place are usually exaggerated. One would always adapt and adjust in no time.

4. That I miss Edwardsville, its people, my friends, the squirrels, and hot morning baths, lemonade and chappati. Very much.

5. That I would not be making any more youtube videos in a long time.

6. That I can survive without grapes.

7. That Summer in Nigeria is better than the summer in Edwardsville. Just a few Fahrenheit difference :).

8. That this blog will go on, at least until I run out of sensible things to say, forget to renew my subscription, or forget my log-in password.

9. That more people have read my blog per week since I arrived in Nigeria than when I was abroad. I don’t understand it.

10. That, in spite of all, it’s good to be home.


PS: I know I’m expected to write something grand and philosophical about returning home after such a long time. Right? Well, right now, with sounds of rain on the roof of my house, I’m at peace, and all I can think of are the simple things.