Wine Tasting in the Town

The last time I went wine-tasting was in September. There was an exhibition of the wines of Missouri and wineries from parts of the state came to showcase what they have. It took place at the Botanical Garden. I returned home with a bottle of Chambourcin.

Last Friday evening however, I went for another one – a private event at a local winery in Edwardsville called Springer’s Creek. The house, built in the 1800s, was nicely decorated with warm lights and wall pictures with other cozy features and a live band playing slow music in the basement. The wine was very sweet and distinctive. The company was pleasant, warm and relaxing, and after a few gulps that counted for much more than just tastings, I was loosened enough to go ice skating at an ice rink thirty-five minutes away.

Oh, I almost forgot. We were actually celebrating something: the joy of blogging, and the pleasures/treasures it brings.

Ernest Who?

I had a mojito today, for the very first time, like many other things I report on this blog. Thanks to the prodding and generous encouragement by a colleague in the department, I am discovering not just a new palatal delight, but a new lesson in (literary) history. Olga says it’s invented by Ernest Hemingway. Wikiepdia says it’s only Hemingway’s favourite drink. The indisputable fact however is that the man Ernest Hemingway liked his mojito very well that he went to a bar called La Bodeguita del medio and wrote “My mojito in La Bodeguita, My daiquiri in El Floridita” on the wall there. It can still  be seen today in his own handwriting.

A few more things about the bloody author. He was born in Oak Park, Illinois, he wrote Old Man and the Sea, A Farewell to Arms, among many other books. He liked his alcohol, and he won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1954. He was in Africa where he was injured and almost killed in a plane crash, and he committed suicide, the bloody guy, in 1961. He also “invented” the mojito.

The drink is made of : white rum, sugar (traditionally sugar cane juice), lime, sparkling water and mint. As opposed to KT Martini made only of Sherry wine and soda, the mojito is limy and less intoxicating. I guess that makes the mojito more family oriented, or so? Or maybe not. We need to find an independent assessor. In any case, I’m glad to find in Ernest a kindred spirit of the muse, the wine and the restless feet. Let’s take out the suicide and we may have something close to a match. Now I need to find someone to send me any of his books for free whether electronically or physically. \

Do you need my address?

Clearing a Blocked Head

Dear Blog readers, today I want to get a little serious, taking a short break from my random pedestrian irreverent rants. Oh well, I confess, I have misplaced my funny bone. Maybe Holly’s cats took it. Okay, let me take that back. I don’t intend to get serious, but I’m trying so hard to enter a pensive mode of recollection and it’s not working. All memories of the nice funny things I wanted to tell you has suddenly disappeared, and all that stares me in the face is an empty bottle of Foris Pinot Noir. Again, I’m kidding.

My thoughts have ranged from the wonder of the world when observed from above, as well as the diversity of accents. But just last week I got a collection of songs from the movie My Fair Lady, and I was surprised at how amused I still was with the lead song “Why Can’t the English (Learn to Speak)” There was a nice line in the song which the actor Rex Harrison delivers with such a priceless speech and a straight face. It goes,

Why can’t the English learn to set a good example to people whose English is painful to your ears… There even are places where English completely disappears: In America, they haven’t used it for years…

That part always made me laugh, especially when read against the diversity of American English accents. Everywhere I went in America, everyone seems to speak so differently, and even the students do not share a common accent. The linguistics class that I attend weekly is one nice theatre of such differing sounds of speech. My Fair Lady is a treasure, and the play (Pygmalion) by George Bernard Shaw that spawned the movie and Broadway production is an even bigger delight. Take it from a thoroughbred Shavian like me who has sworn among other things to see at least one Broadway or Off-Broadway play before returning home. Come, come winter.

However, I do not go about campus like the Professor Henry Higgins now jotting down the varying sounds of the American working class, even though the prospects of such endeavour sound rewarding, but I can at least boast of a general delight in ear sampling of accents. The knowledge of such diversity of speech has built for me a stronger confidence to resume my own Nigerian accented English rather than trying hard to sound American. It is not always an easy effort to pronounce just about every “r” in every word whenever you speak. When a Nigerian pronounces the word “pork”, you are not likely to hear the “r” pronounced, and that always left my American confused, and they always replied with “What?” “I beg your pardon,” “Come again please.” On the plane from London, a co-passenger warned me that if I want to say “hot”, I should pronounce it as “hat” or else no one would understand me. It has turned out to be a good advice so far. “Flu shot” had been “flu shat”, and every word that I’d otherwise pronounce with a closed mouth has undergone such dramatic transformation. I even admit that I have to take conscious effort to speak slowly just so I can get my thoughts across.

I admit, I’m being gradually Americanized. My “butter”, “bitter” and “letter” are now easily pronounced if the “tt” segments are called like the American “r”, but thinking forward to my mandatory re-absorption into the Nigerian speech pattern a year from now, I’ve been selective in my assimilation. But I can never get away from the occasional strange glances that respond to my sometimes deliberate attempt to speak the British English, Nigerian style.

Hollow Friday

…America got me mad!
I was angry and upset at the same time, and there was nobody to hear or temper my livid cry. Except Reham, of course, because she was there when it happened, but she couldn’t understand why a bottle of Californian Merlot could make a young man from Nigeria so friggn annoyed at a grocery store. To me, it felt like an usual and totally unexpected encounter, and even now when I think back at it, I still fume.
Okay, here is what happened.
It was Friday, and I had talked Reham the Egyptian into following me to town to do some shopping for fruits.

It was Friday, and I had talked Reham the Egyptian into following me to town to do some shopping for fruits and food. She obliged and we both went like two good FLTA students enjoying a beautiful city in the evening. If anything, it would give us another chance to look at downtown Edwardsville which we’d both been planning on visiting for a while now, without chance. She had just picked up a mobile phone which a relative in the US had sent to her from NY, and she had nothing else to do, like me. She equally felt the need to do a little shopping, so off we went. The bus from our “village” to Edwardsville station took only about twenty minutes, and we were sitting down at a lovely bus station/park, observing the beautiful scenery while we waited for the connecting bus to Walmart. It came on time, and we went with it. The distance from Walmart to Aldi’s is just a stone -throw. We walked the short distance, and we got there. The major difference between Aldi’s and Walmart is not only in the price of goods. It has cheaper fruits and food items on sale, for sure, but it also had some strange peculiarities that Walmart didn’t have. For example, you had to put in a quarter in the shopping carts before you could use them. And they won’t give you a shopping bag when you finish shopping. You had to buy it for yourself. All is fair so far, especially since they sell cheaper stuff than the other big stores. The problem came when I passed by a section of wines within the store, and took fancy to one lovely bottle of Californian Merlot.

Dear MerlotNo, the problem came when I wanted to pay for it.

“May I see your identification, please.” The little lady at the counter said to me nicely, and I fumbled through my pocket to locate my ID that labels me as “A Visiting Scholar.”

She looked young enough to be a first year student in a neighbouring University, or even SIUE itself.

She looked at the ID, then at me, and asked. “We need to know that you’re old enough, before we can sell you the wine.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. I looked around to see if Reham was close by to laugh with me, but she was still busy shopping, and a few more people had began to line up behind me. I looked at the cashier and asked whether she was really serious. She was. I told her I was far older than that, and then she excused herself and went to show the card to someone superior to her. Then she came back to repeat the message.

“She said that you must show proof of your age or you can’t have it. Do you have a driver’s licence please?”

“I do, but it’s not here.” I said.

“Passport?”

“Yes, but I don’t take it everywhere I go. Come on! Do I look like a 17 year old kid to you?” I asked, getting almost angry at this time, but keeping calm. I was already causing a situation, and Reham looked at me from within the store with a puzzled look that showed her wonder at what I was being interrogated about.

“You have to be 21,” the lady said, firmly.

I was livid.

“Of course, I’m 21. I was 21 many many years ago. What kind of a shop is this?”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. And she looked like she meant it. She’s a youth, and she must understand my pain without being able to offer any help. “But that’s the policy. You may go elsewhere. Maybe they’ll sell it to you. It’s the policy here not to sell to anyone without ID.”

I left dejected and much annoyed. The scene repeated itself a few minutes at Walmart, where the cashier this time was an older woman whose line was “In case of anyone younger than 40, we require a valid identification.”

It was a horrible experience, I tell you, but I have now gotten over my disappointment with my grocery stores. With plenty teenage drinking and drunk driving in America today, they can’t seem to help it. But I retain my rage for the old Nigerian football stars on television who all claim/seem to be 24 years old when their mates are almost grandfathers. They it is who have successfully persuaded the whole world that if someone looks like me, without discernable beard or moustache, he’s most likely a minor, not fit the pleasures of Dionysus. Oh, the horror of it. For here I am, a travelling Nigerian spirit now floating aimlessly in a limbo space, unable to experience the true fullness of the American bottle. Fie! Fie! Fie!