The shots aren’t the best, but they are what I could get: shots of Lagos with no other cars. A few streets of Lagos anyway. You don’t see that often.
Berger, Magodo, Ikoyi, Victoria Island, and Lekki.
This is to introduce ÌYÀNDÁ. Described as a unique work of art that reflects the beauty of culture while amplifying a strong theme revolving around tradition, ÌYÀNDÁ is a comic artwork that brings art and cultural stories into the new media. The title is a native name belonging to a child born to a Yoruba family in the Southwestern region of Nigeria. It means, ‘A Selected Being’.
It is written by Ayodeji Makinde.
Now published on www.lulu.com, it is available for download across the globe in e-book format. Click here.
I start with a caveat that not everyone who opposes same-sex unions (or denies the existence of a homosexual orientation as natural or normal) is a bigot. I have met many that come from a position of ignorance, some from pure religious, social, or political conditioning over a long period of time. There are many others however with no other arguments than that people different from them should just not be allowed to have any rights, privileges, or aspirations. They come from positions of fear, loathing, ignorance, heterosexual privilege, conservatism, and bigotry. It is for them that this list might be useful. They are questions and arguments I’ve had from those to whom the support of gay rights is unthinkable.
1. Being gay is “unnatural”. Have you seen a gay animal?
Dextrocardia is unnatural (a congenital condition in which people have their hearts on the right side of the chest), among many “unnatural” human conditions that we have not legalized against. And about gay animals? Quite a lot, actually!
2. Being gay is unAfrican.
So is kissing, oral sex (and what has been popularly glorified in literature as the position 69), anal sex between heterosexual married couples, and every other sex act that “civilization” brought to us. If you’re offended by homosexuality, are you also offended by these unAfrican sex acts?
3. Being gay is bad because it doesn’t lead to procreation and children. (This is one of the popular arguments.)
Neither does celibacy, by the way. (And neither does kissing, oral sex, etc.) Do you want a law insisting that EVERYONE in the country MUST have children? What of a law to mandate all married people to have children by force? How about telling them how many children to have?
4. Alright, gay people exist, we agree. But why do they want rights like everyone else?
Good thing you admitted that. It’s a first step. However, the question answers itself. Why not? (In Nigeria, at least, what I know about the matter is not that gay people “want rights”, but that they don’t want their human rights taken away. 14 years in jail for being who you are is pretty excessive.)
5. Legalizing gay marriage will make it acceptable to be gay. Would you want you child to be gay? If your parents chose to be gay, would you have been born?
Legalizing alcohol hasn’t turned all kids in Nigeria to alcoholics. Legalizing against kissing or oral sex won’t make it go away either since it usually takes place behind close doors. Secondly, being gay isn’t a choice, just like being straight isn’t. I didn’t choose to be straight. Gay people won’t disappear because of the legislation either. If my parents were gay, they clearly wouldn’t have married each other (and maybe I’d have been better for it).
6. Gay marriage will ruin the institution of marriage, and destroy civilization if everyone becomes gay.
I am a married man. I do not see how giving other men and women a chance to pursue happiness of marriage with each other will take away from my own happiness. And about civilization getting destroyed, I don’t understand that. People don’t become gay. I lived in the US where gay unions are legal, and I never became gay as a result, nor developed any inclination to become one. Gay people exist. I’ve met a number of them. So do straight people. I have colleagues and friends who are gay. I also have colleagues and friends who are straight. The didn’t “influence” an orientation change in me, just like having smoking friends didn’t turn me into a smoker. Having white-skinned friends didn’t turn me white either. Straight people will keep having children (so don’t worry about the world dying off), and gay people will keep dating each other, and NOT having children. Everyone wins.
7. I hate the idea of gay sex. I can’t imagine it. It’s disgusting. Think about it. Does it make sense to you?
I don’t imagine gay sex either. I also can’t imagine anal sex between man-woman couples. That’s why I don’t do it. However, I don’t want a law against it, as it does nothing to remove from the intimacy I share with my own spouse. There are clearly those who can imagine it, and who enjoy it. Their happiness doesn’t irritate me. Why does it irritate you?
8. Marriage is between ONE man and ONE woman!
Says who? The bible? Not really.
9. Being gay isn’t Christian.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu clearly doesn’t think so. And neither does the Pope, anyway (talk of being holier than the Pope). In any case, homophobia/intolerance isn’t Christian either.
10. You have been corrupted by the West. That’s why you’re arguing this way.
Draconian laws against gays, minorities, etc also had its heyday in the United States. For a number of years, blacks couldn’t even marry out of their race. Unbelievable as it sounds, there are no written accounts of ancient African societies penalizing people on the basis of their sexual orientation. (At least I haven’t read of any). So, in an ironical way, homophobia is the real pernicious Western influence.
Update: If you’re straight and you still need convincing about the horrific nature of the new law in Nigeria, there is a great article here, titled The Straight Nigerian’s Guide to the New Anti-Gay Law. Read it.
As early as a couple of months ago in a heated debate with a friend and colleague while the Nigerian Gay Ban bill was still being debated in the National Assembly, I was confronted by what was supposed to be a winning argument against the “encouragement” or “tolerance” of homosexuality in the world: Imagine one Society A, he said to me, where all its citizens are gay. Now imagine another, Society B, where all its citizens are straight. Which one, over a hundred year period, will still have people living in it?
It was a simplistic argument, one I’d heard a number of times before, and in different forms. It was also easily parried, but that never ended the conversation which went on and on until we were both tired. In the end, out of respect for the years of friendship, we agreed to disagree with our egos and friendships intact. Having spent a whole day on Facebook today since the draconian law was finally assented to by the president, I have witness a recreation of more intense versions of that same argument between friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Like what I had with my friend, the arguments have centered on biology, morality, religion, culture, and politics.
It has been noted, for instance, that (unlike what is obtainable in other advanced democracies), major opposition leaders, and prominent politicians in the country, haven’t been pursued by hard-hitting journalists in order to get them on record about the new law that not only criminalizes sexual orientation and public displays of affection, but effectively bans the freedom of association already guaranteed under the constitution. Those committed to the easier (but empty) debate about “Adam and Steve” have done so as well, along with those who curiously believe that their cultures were as intolerant to people of different orientations as this new law is. A friend was asked to provide evidence that Yoruba people ever criminalized orientation before colonialism. He had no evidence. He however insisted that the absence of gay people in popular Yoruba literature is a sign that gay people NEVER existed in Yorubaland. His words. Those who hid behind religion were either shocked, disbelieving, or indifferent that the Pontiff recently exhibited an attitude of inclusion to those of different orientation than us.
It’s easy to wonder, in the safety of one’s heterosexual privilege whether the law does nothing more than scare people: a toothless bulldog. Then one reads a news story where barely hours after the law was signed, dozens of people have already been arrested, and the mind is changed. I told a friend that I already belong to an association that supports the rights and aspirations of everyone, including gay people, everywhere. That association is called: writers. (It should have been called “Christians”, I know). But then one looks twitter and just a handful of Nigerian writers have said anything of note against the law. Like Christians, it has become easy to keep quiet since, on the surface, it doesn’t seem as if one is personally affected. When the freedom of association is criminalized, then the floodgates for tyranny is already open. It’s a terrible setback, in any case.
As for the answer I gave my friend with whom I had the earlier debate, in a hundred years, both societies will still have people living in them. Society A will still be filled with gay people, many new ones joining them from Society B from where they continue to be banished, while Society B will still continue to be filled with its new generation of intolerant straight people. If straight people don’t want anymore gay people in the world, they should probably stop giving birth to them.
Otherwise, we’re all in this world together, and should find a way to live together with equal rights and opportunities for all. I, for one, could do with stable and regular electricity.
A very curious thing happened in Nigeria today: a controversial bill that criminalizes not only gay activities but association with gay rights groups was signed into law by President Goodluck Jonathan. The bill recommends up to 14 years for convicted gay citizens, and up to 10 years for people convicted of supporting activities of (or belonging to) gay rights groups.
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So, here’s an addendum that is probably now more necessary than ever: In spite of the law, this blog (and I) supports (and will continue to support) the right of gay people everywhere, and especially in Nigeria, to pursue happiness; to love and to marry whoever they want, without interference from a prurient and puerile person, society, or government; and to continue to seek every avenue to express their love and affection for each other in public and in private. It is up to us, the conservative (or intolerant) society, to deal with the insecurities about our sexuality that expresses itself in fear, loathing, and suspicion of our fellow beings. The word of our national anthem that says “One nation bound in freedom, peace and unity” should yet apply to all, in spite of their gender, religion, race, ethnicity, and yes, sexual orientation. And until that time that it does, Nigeria shall continue to be an imperfect experiment needing the moral force of its active citizens to bring it to reckoning with its purpose: providing security and justice for all.
(Update: There’s a long but good read here about why the law is terrible, beyond criminalizing orientation)