Why Did I Even Bother Too?

Tyler Perry’s latest movie is titled Why Did I Get Married Too, a sequel to the first brilliant drama Why Did I Get Married. But while the first part was brilliant, logical and very comical and stimulating, this sequel fails like the very many other sequels that seek to make money off a first brilliant idea. And while I don’t hate all sequels (Meet the Fockers lives up to expectation of a good sequel after Meet the Parents, as did Simba’s Pride and Lion King 1 1/2). But if I was asked to summarize this Tyler Perry movie in one word, it would be: “heck!”.

Don’t get me wrong, it was good as far as cinematography, characterization and acting are concerned. It even has some great laugh-out-loud scenes. But for plot, I give it a big thumbs down. And I am a Tyler Perry fan. I have seen and loved some of his earlier works like Madea’s Family Reunion and The Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I have even seen the stage performance of this Why Did I Get Married. But now after spending my money and two hours of my life in a cinema, I am left with wondering: Why? You don’t always have to make a sequel. But when you do, why not at least give the audience some credit for intelligence and the ability to discern when they’re being taken for a ride.

I know that many people, especially women will crucify me for taking this position, but luckily I am not alone. If you choose to pay your money to see it, note that the story will neither inspire nor even entertain you in any intelligent way. You will get sentimentality, but not brilliance. You will probably wish that you had gone to see Desperate Housewives instead. At least, that one is honest about its intention to sometimes take your intelligence for granted with exaggerated coincidences and plot twists. And Desperate Housewives does have some brilliant lines as well as plots. In this Tyler Perry movie, all the four couples in the first part have gotten back together for another annual retreat. What happens afterwards – I insist – is a matter for tv series and soaps, and not for the movies. As thoroughly superb as her performance in this disappointing flick is, I’m sorry to say that Janet Jackson won’t be deserving an Oscar yet. And it won’t be her fault. It will be the poor script that the director has given her to play. Maybe Mr. Perry should consider turning the “movie” into a tv series, and we can hope for him to win his Emmys someday. Until then, let me go mourn the loss of two precious hours that I will never ever get back. 🙁

Easter Joke!

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”

My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”

Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”

He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.

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Happy Easter everyone.

Killing Me Softly (the KTravula Remix)

Here’s what happened. I got bored again while working on a linguistics translation assignment so I closed the boring pages and set up my recording equipments. This is the result. And with this, I think there might be a future for me in music someday. Maybe a Grammy.

Here then is a result of my sleepless night yesterday. Note: It is a different version from the one I sent around to my friends’ unsuspecting email addresses earlier today.

Killing Me Softly

If I would make a musical album, the cover jacket might look somewhat like this picture ;). It will also include the following songs which I have now also recorded: Bob Marley’s Waiting in Vain, Frank Sinatra’s The Way You Look Tonight and Whitney Houston’s One Moment in Time. Haha. Boredom rocks.

Enjoy.

PS: Congrats to Clarissa’s One Year Blogging Anniversary!

Measuring Blackness

This is a guest-post by the brilliant Nneoma Nwachucku of Pyoo Wata Blog. She is an American of Nigerian origin, and in this article she explores the very many dimensions of being African American even though none of her ancestors was brought to the United States as a slave. Race obviously is still a very interesting issue since being African itself is not limited to being black, except we intend to exclude fair skinned Arab North Africans in Egypt, Sudan and Northern Nigeria; White, Jewish and Indian South Africans; and the now indigenous White residents of Zimbabwe – which won’t make any sense. Anyway, enjoy the interesting piece.

Previous guest-posts can be found here.

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Despite protests from my family members and other Nigerians in my community, I consider myself first and foremost African American. Personally, it has taken quite some time for me to embrace this realization. And personally, I grew tired of explaining the contradictions inherent in adopting dual citizenship from two very different nations.  You see, I straddle between two different communities, one foot in Nigeria, which I fondly refer to as home; and foot planted in the United States – where I currently pen from. I am African American in the truest sense of the word – an African living in America. Yes, if we parse it down, I could very well label myself as Nigerian American, Igbo American…Ohuhu American (?). It can get unnecessarily specific. In light of this I still, towards the end of a survey or application, proudly place my check next to “Black, African American.” <– Can someone tell me when the US Census will decide to drop the word “Negro” from its lexicon…forget being politically correct, it’s just redundant.  I get it, I’m black – I don’t need a reminder in Portuguese…anyway, I digress.

The African-American experience, I have come to find, is an incredibly diverse one. We include those whose ancestry stems from the trans-Atlantic slave trade, to recent Haitian immigrants, to black Londoners who now call the US their own.

Even those who find their roots strongly laid in the soils of long-forgotten Southern plantations are themselves brimming with a rich genetic diversity, featuring parentage from Caucasian, Native and other American sources. Though popular news sites and blogs during the 2008 US presidential campaign season continued to argue about whether to classify President Obama as black, white, or biracial, I still maintain that he is the first African American president of the United States. Heck, if word got out that Puerto Rican American Supreme Court Judge Sotomayor’s great-great-great-great-great grandmother may have been black, I’m claiming her too.  Lord knows we need all the good press we can get.

In light of our differences, I always thought that it would be a difficult task to pin any one cultural experience as that which defines our blackness, particularly here in the US. However, these days, I stand to be corrected.

“…uknowurblackwhen…,” read the title of a recent article from an online black magazine I read a while back. The article sought to explore the story behind a Twitter trend in which black twitterers would key the strokes #uknowurblackwhen followed by their perception of shared African American experiences. Being a moderately avid black twitterer myself, I was familiar with this trend before reading the article. Though my familiarity with this phenomenon was merely limited to the only “uknowurblack” tweet I received from a follower, who admitted we both failed to meet several of the standards posed by our fellow African American twitterers.

No, I don’t … “drink Koolaid from the pickle jar” (old butter tubs, yes).

Nope, I do not have in my possession…“a busted car with a bangin’ sound system” (both car and sound system are “busted,” thank you very much).

My fake hair pieces (weaves) are not the most expensive items I own.  See above re: busted car with busted sound system.

Later, upon checking out several of the “uknowurblack” tweets, I found I had more in common with those followed by the “uknowurnotblack” tags.

The quest to define what it means to be African American is not a recent phenomenon nor is the discussion limited to playground fights, casual tweets, and heated debates in the media. Many in the social sciences are aware of the African American Acculturation Scale (AAAS) which seeks to assess the extent to which an individual has adopted the culture, attitudes, and behaviors of blacks in America. The scale is based on eight parameters, which include items such as religion and superstitions, disposition towards race relations and interracial relationships, and interestingly – “a preference for African American things.” While this scale could be somewhat predictive health outcomes, voting behaviors and the like, I contend that it is hardly reflective of the actual African American experience, which comprises of a melting pot of different groups and nationalities. The notion of a “traditional” African-American who represents all of us, is one I find problematic. The traditional African American person flies in the face of our everyday realities as a varied group of black males and females living and thriving in the United States.

If there ever were to be a black version of the Statue of Liberty, I imagine that she would daily call out for the black, “huddled masses yearning to be free,” regardless of whether these masses hail from grassy New England suburbs, rural communities in North Carolina, or the cosmopolitan reaches of Lagos, Nigeria. “Send these…to me,” she cries. And she would take us – all of us – just as we are. (Take that, you anti-immigration psychos out there) …I kid ;).

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The piece first appeared in the Clutch Magazine. Nneoma can be found on twitter at http://twitter.com/pyoowata.

Re: Poisson D’Avril

Only one of the following is an April fool joke.

  1. Cougar Village will kick me out of my residence after the 7th of May and I’ll have to find somewhere else to live.
  2. Mafoya has got himself a car.
  3. Ben has moved out to downtown Edwardsville leaving the whole apartment to me alone.
  4. I have lost my wallet with all its cash and cards on campus, and got it back.  Here it is. I have never lost my wallet, and I doubt that I’ll get it back if I do. I have however lost my gloves and winter hat. I lost it on campus and have never got it back!
  5. One of my host parents will undergo surgery sometime later this month.
  6. I have plans to visit Chicago for one more time before I leave this region.
  7. I have books by four Nobel Prize for Literature winners in my room at the moment.
  8. I shot a one minute video for CNN on the 20th March, here.
  9. A new friend of mine – an American – on Sunday referred to Iran as Irania.
  10. In response to my letter, Western Union will offer 50% discount for two days in April to any part of the world.

As per #10, Western Union will indeed be offering a 50% discount to everywhere in the world on the 6th and 7th. From what I’ve heard from their representative, this is perhaps the most they can bend. Therefore, anyone – Nigerians or not – who want to send money to their loved ones anywhere can do so at a 50% off for two days in April. There is already a hint on their Facebook page. I’m guessing that a detailed announcement will come soon.

Gotcha! Thanks for participating.