Lost Jobs!

Some people pass through the world (often without fanfare) and remind us of the value of vision, the importance of perseverance and the gains of bravery. Steve Jobs stuck through with his ideas and vision through thick and thin and the world is not the same again because of him.

I have not used any of Apple’s product beyond the iPod classic which I got in 2009 but I have had a lot of fun with the iPad/iPod phonetic peculiarities at some point in time. I never got around to falling in love with a Mac but I have always admired the ingenuity that went into its design and conceptualization, and the idea of providing an alternative to the PC itself. The iPhone changed the way we use mobile phone forever. An although I would probably be the last ones to get one, it is hard to knock the great vision that went into its production, design and marketing.

Another great inventor is gone. The world would never be the same. The iPhone 4Gs should probably be called the iPhone 4G-Steve now, and deservedly so.

Non-Pretty Telecom Ramblings

It wasn’t always likely that I would have spent half a year in one of the world’s biggest telecommunication’s markets – the United States of America – without a mobile phone. Surely, six months ago, I couldn’t have envisioned my current position. Two feet away from my left hand at this moment is a telephone that could only remind me of Nigeria. Not even the current day Nigeria, but the Nigeria of 1990. The telephone is hooked into the wall via a transparent cable. It has a dialing pad attached to the receiver, and it doesn’t have an answering machine, and it has a coiling cord that always used to give me nightmares. The last time I came across a phone with this kind of winding cable connecting the receiver to the box was in my grandfather’s house in the early to mid-nineties when we made the best of times by making prank calls to local Fire and Police Stations telling them of a raging fire. I therefore could not immediately believe when I walked into my designated apartment back in August that I was indeed in the United States of America. It was a kind of culture shock to come in contact with a land line phone of this ancient kind. There is usually a three-lettered abbreviation to respond to this kind of encounter. I went with OMG!

Cut to six months later, I am surprised to have survived it. My little nephews and nieces who are used to Nigeria’s now ubiquitous mobile phone services might be shocked now to see that phones exist in this kind of form. The only reason I can think of why I backed down from my promise to buy myself one of either the Samsung Omnia, the Nokia Maemo, the Apple iPhone, the Palm Pre, the Google HTC or the Blackberry among so many others new inventions competing for attention then was the contract system that made it a prerequisite that one had a payment plan with a major telecommunications network before getting a good smart phone. No can do, I said to Apple, which was my very first choice, and effectively walked away from the rest of them. There was no way I could sign up for a two year plan when my programme was going to end in eleven months. For phone calls home therefore, I depended on Skype, and Rebtel. For text messages, there was Skype, and my good old smart Nokia that followed me from across the ocean. For calls within campus, there remained my good old ancient line now hooked to the wall. It works just fine except I manage to step out of the room when the incoming call rings.

Needless to say, the non-possession of an American-network-powered mobile phone has never failed to generate very long conversations within friends and acquaintances whenever I bring it up. “Why don’t you just buy one of those little mobiles that you can recharge and use at will without a contact? Walmart has them,” I’ve been told. “I just can’t care less,” I respond, “In Nigeria, you can just walk up to any shop and buy a sim card without a contract, then buy the kind of smart mobile phone you want and still get all the services you require; a service you can walk away from at any time without loss. In America, it’s well almost an impossibility without a certain discomfort. Even the new iPad comes with the prerequisite of an AT&T contract. I mean what kind of exclusivity is that? Thankfully, I have been able to do without them all. Not like my friend Vera however. Read what she has to say about a phone contract with T-mobile. It is not just the figures, but the whole thing about a contract that just ticks me off.

It is just the sorry sight of this land line on my bed that reminds me of why Nigerians quickly got rid of the military government, and welcomed a civilian one. Today, even for “third world” Nigeria, I would never buy a phone like this. Not when I can buy the new contract-free Google Nexus combine it with an MTN simcard that costs less than a dollar. This sight reminds me of why I am a true ghoul in the forest!

PS: Amount so far raised via KTravulaid for Jos, for Haiti = $230, out of which $100 has already been sent to Jos. Thanks to Dee, Clarissa and Tee.

iSkits

Scene I

+++++


Kola: Ben, what’s your favourite Apple product?

Ben: I gotta say, the iPod.

Kola: The iPad?

Ben: No, not the iPad. The iPoood. [Pronounced as “iPaaad”]

Kola: What? You like that new product?

Ben: No, you’re not listening. I mean the iPod, the iPod; the small one that fits into your breast pocket. That one you’re holding.

Kola: Oh, the iPawd, you mean.

Ben: What is that? iPawd?

Kola: Well, the way you’re pronouncing it, I couldn’t tell the difference between when you say iPod and when you say iPad. Can you say “iPod,” this time in English?

Ben: Good God, you’re terrible.

Kola: Don’t you mean “Good Gawd?”

******************

Scene II

++++++

Kola: Hello, am I speaking with the Apple representative? I made an online order of the new iPad.

Operator: Oh nice. I’m here to help you. Was it the iPod classic or the iPod touch?

Kola: Does it come in those options?

Operator: Yes. The Classic comes in 160GB, 120GB and 80GB types…

Kola: I think you’re getting me wrong. I mean the iPad.

Operator: I got you right. You want the iPod, right?

Kola: Yes, and I’m told it has come to knock the Kindle off its lazy ass.

Operator: [Silence.]

Kola: Hellooo.

Operator: Yes. There must have been a mistake. Did you say you want the iPad or the iPod?

Kola: From what you just said, I really can’t tell them apart. Maybe you should please let me speak with someone who speaks English.

Operator: Good Gaad!

Kola: [Click]

******************

PS: None of these conversations has taken place, as far as I know. But I won’t bet against the possibility that they are taking place right now in parts of the United States, especially between Nigerians and Americans.

 

Blank Head Rants

“No one can ever know for sure what a deserted area looks like.” – George Carlin

I honestly, honestly have nothing to blog about today. Ask me, I can’t wait for January to be over with. It’s the longest month of the year, especially because it follows an already long festive one of December. February however is the shortest month, which is nice, except you are a compulsive blogger who has to write up to fourty-six interesting articles in a month.

What I intend to do in this short post then is to tell you the response to my so called “Charity Work”. It is interesting to see the responses so far, which is to me quite encouraging. We already have $100 pledged to Jos, Nigeria; I think. And today, Thursday, I will be making out the said photograph to send to the said donor who lives in Dolton, Illinois but wants to remain anonymous as soon as I receive the proof of said donation. There are two other pledges from contributors to this blog, and I thank them, Yemi and Tayo. Needless to say, it’s not sufficient. It is not the best we can do.

In a similar vein, I wrote a letter to the Fulbright Organization yesterday informing them of the project, and to the coordinator of the Haiti relief effort at my University. I haven’t received a response from either of them. What I hope to do in the next week is to hold an exhibition, if possible, of some of these photographs on campus. What I’m afraid of is that students may not have that much money to spare, adults who can spare may have already donated to Haiti. So for all its worth, if that ever happens, it will be more of my opportunity to showcase my work rather than to raise money. In any case, I’d be glad to explore the opportunity. Day by day, the pictures look better and better to me. I didn’t know that I’d taken so many shots in this little period of time.

If you’re interested in buying the works in this effort to raise money for Jos, Nigeria; and the country of Haiti, please head here for more information. I will try to keep the offer open until the end of my Fulbright Programme in May, if I can. From then on, you will have to pay heavily to buy them, by which time they would have become a collector’s item, even if I say so myself 🙂

SOMETHING ELSE: I heard that Apple has finally come out with it’s new tablet, and they have chosen no other name to call it than the iPad. The obviously flawed marketing strategy has now spurned so many spoofs and parodies on twitter since yesterday. The product was actually called the iTampon by pranksters in the extreme of it. What worried me the most why Mr Jobs hadn’t considered the fact that the iPad uses the very same sound patterns as the iPod, at least in Americans English. How will listeners be able to tell them apart? This may as well be a failure of language sensitivity as it is a failure of marketing. My two cents.