Of The Radio Days

I was once a radio presenter, and it was one of the best times of my life.

I had just left secondary (high) school, and I had come across this advertisement on radio asking for interested young person for a radio programme aimed at the youth. I didn’t have so much to do after high school so I jumped at the opportunity, and also because I had so much energy that I just desperately wanted to channel in a creative direction. I was sixteen.

I was also very smallish, but already showing signs of growing. I surely wasn’t as tall as I am now so the first fear was that I would be turned down because of my young looks and voice. It was an unfounded fear because when I got to the broadcasting studio on the day of the oral and practical interview that had us making impromptu broadcasts on radio and television in front of all the judges and other contestants, I found that I was the tallest and one of the oldest of the applicants, and all of a sudden, I had another sudden fear of being turned back because of my height. Eventually, that turned out to be unfounded too. I went into the air conditioned cubicle that I had seen for many years on television (It was where their presenters announced the beginning of each television programme) and read the prepared script. For effect, I even added a few words of mine, and smiled. Time up, next person. After a while, the interview was done, and the over thirty of us young boys and girls were asked to go home and wait for a phone call that will confirm our acceptance.

I got mine a few days later from the producer of the show, a beautiful woman and a veteran broadcaster of the radio station who had trained in England and was married to a famous Nigerian football goalkeeper (now late). She told me that I’d been accepted, and that I should show up on Wednesday to meet with my co-host to prepare a jingle that will be used to promote the show, and get familiar with the broadcasting house. There was a snag though: we would not be paid for our work like normal staff, but we would sometimes be given stipends to cover our transportation. Was I still interested? Yes, I said, and hung up. It was going to be fun to be a radio presenter of a thirty minutes weekly radio show (which was later extended to one hour) on Saturdays.

There were a few other snags along the way, one of which was the lack of a functional record library in the Broadcasting House. The good records have either been lost or stolen and the library had only a few old albums. For contemporary music, we depended on commercial Deejays who demanded that we mentioned their names at the end of every show as their only compensation. For a while, I also stole and borrowed some of my father’s records from his library and returned them afterwards (if I remembered to). It really was fun. My co-host was a young beautiful girl who was then still in secondary school at the time. (The last time I checked on her, she was working in a famous bank in Ibadan). We would meet on Wednesday at the big broadcasting house to rehearse and get our lines right, then later an hour before the show at the FM station to get comfortable and cue CDs and record tracks, then when it was 1.30pm, after the introductory signature tune that was the chorus of We Are The World, our voice would come on: “Hello to you folks out there. You are welcome to Children’s Delight. I am Sola, and with me is Kola…” They later changed the name of the show as well.

Till date, I sometimes get the impression of being considered too old, or sometimes being too young. At the coffee lunch on Monday a few weeks ago with Prof. McClinton, I had told her my age since she thought I was still twenty-five, and she couldn’t believe when I told her that I was a few years older than that. I almost couldn’t believe her either. “Your mannerisms don’t show you as that old,” she said, and I laughed. I agreed too, while also adding, “It could be because I don’t have much of a beard.”  Or maybe I am an old man in a young man’s body. Till date, I still also get questions from friends who knew me in those days on the radio. They always wondered why I walked away from it when I entered the University a year after. The fact was that I was actually bored after a while. After up to a year presenting and giving all of myself to it sometimes for free, I was ready to move on. However, I enjoyed every moment of it even though it was becoming too stressful to manage and to combine with a new experience of University life. I also began to consider myself grown up for the themes of the weekly shows. I was moving away from the realm of questions and polemics for the reality of answers and actions. University called. In any case, Sola had a few more months on the show before she adapted it for older youths, and eventually walked away when she went into the University a few years later as well. They were fun times.

Today, I co-hosted a radio show on Blogtalk with Nigerian blogger Vera Ezimora along with two other Nigerian bloggers. It is a two hour weekly web-radio show discussing a general lifestyle topics. This week’s topic was a subject of good fiction: When do you object to someone else’s relationship in light of what secret you know about one of them? Never? Immediately you know? Or, right before “I do”? You can listen to the show here. I enjoyed the discussions and the phone-in contributions, and it reminded me of some of those pleasant days in the cool padded rooms of the FM radio studios in the late 90s. On one of the office boards today in the Broadcasting Corporation in Ibadan is still a copy of a picture of the young me in suit with large headphones on my head, of Sola my co-host and our beautiful brilliant producer in the studio all of us staring at the camera. Good times.

Word Friday

Search term: What does the word “Reham”  mean in Arabic?

Answer: It means “dew”.

Thursday!

Today has lived up to it’s blue expectation. It rained almost all day, and the weather was gloomy. It is not the kind of rain that comes down in torrents and lets the sun out afterwards. It is one of those kinds that never stops dripping. The ground was wet all day long and the sun refused to come out. Now, I think I understand more why there is so much weather references in American novels that I have read.

I also got this book in my mail: The World is What It Is by Patrick French. Somehow, it seems that I am always struggling to catch up with literary trends these days. The book was published two years ago, and it is the authorized biography of V.S. Naipaul. Talking of book ordering online, last week when I got my copy of Paula Varsavsky’s No One Said A Word in my mailbox, I found that it had the stamp of a public library in it, and that drove me crazy. Yes to save money, when I buy from Amazon, I sometimes buy used instead of new ones, but I have never expected that I would be sold books that were “borrowed” from a public library. I am surely missing something here, and I don’t know what it is. Can you help? And more, what am I supposed to do? Return it?

Bookjam in Lagos

“The BookJam @ Silverbird” is a series of once-monthly literary events.  Each event consists of book readings, discussions, literary performances, book signings and a raffle draw.

The Bookjam is hosted by A. Igoni Barrett and the Silverbird Lifestyle store.

The second edition of “The BookJam @ Silverbird” will hold between 3 to 5 pm on Saturday 27 March 2010, at the Silverbird Lifestyle store, Silverbird Galleria, Victoria Island, Lagos.

The guest writers are:

  • Adewale Maja-Pearce, author of Remembering Ken Saro-Wiwa and Other Essays and former editor of the Heinemann African Writers’ Series;
  • Joy Isi Bewaji, author of Eko Dialogue;
  • Uwem Akpan, author of Say You’re One of Them.

Admission to the BookJam is free. Members of the audience who purchase books during the event stand a chance to win a special prize in a raffle draw.

For more information send an email to auggustmedia@gmail.com.

To Western Union

Dear Brian/Western Union,
Thank you for your message, and thank you for liking my blog.
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While I appreciate your 50% offer that I will no doubt call to collect as soon as we have the first batch of donations to be sent to the Red Cross in Jos, I am writing to express a profound disappointment at your polite response. And while as a private organization you reserve the right of refusal to any proposal that doesn’t bring immediate financial returns or perhaps a photo opportunity with the likes of Wyclef Jean 🙁 , let this be an expression of my consumer’s right of anger and disgust at your nonchalance and insensitivity to a humanitarian cause in a crisis ridden area of a country where you have at least one hundred and forty million potential customers/money receivers.
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Listen to it again: a hundred and forty million people live in that country, and  over half a million people alone in the region of the country where your help is now urgently needed. Do you care if that number falls into a new category of disenchanted customers who think that Western Union is just another private moneybag organization that cares about people only in times of peace, prosperity and security but desert them in their time of need? Forget the pens and air fresheners that we currently get on receiving money from abroad. I don’t care for those.  RIGHT NOW, the people of Jos need support, and as small a step as it is, allowing people to be able to send money to them free of charge from abroad even for a limited period of time already solves half of the problem.
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Did you see the pictures of the dead and the wounded women and children from the January and the March crises, or should I send them to you? Believe me, they are not pretty. If you have ever appreciated the value of life, you should be moved for humanity’s sake. More so Nigeria, and the city of Jos, are some of the places in the world where you have agencies and where you have made profit for several years. I myself have received money transfers while I lived in Jos in 2005, so here we are, not pleading as much as calling you to live up to expectation of a socially conscious organization responding to a community of loyal customers in times of need. Believe me, this will be your pleasure as much as the people which you help. And what’s more, you would be doing something right.
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As per your concern with language, it is as much a humanitarian crisis as it is a man-made one. I agree, but who are you to judge when people are most in need? Is the child loss in Haiti or Chile from a shifting earth and collapsing rubble any less painful than a child loss in Jos from a sharpened machete and fire? Did your agencies in Jos Plateau not close down for days on account of the massacres? Can you, by lexical classification of causes of disasters thus, measure the pain and the need of the people who have lost houses, limbs, relatives and properties, and to whom every hand of help stretched forward at this moment is another great step towards recovery? CAN YOU QUANTIFY LOSS, OR PAIN, IN WORDS SUCH AS HUMAN OR NATURAL? In my first letters to you, I tried to avoid putting the responsibility of response on your conscience because, indeed, it is a man-made disaster – a result of hate and intolerance for which some misguided compatriots are complicit. But so was the genocide in Rwanda as well as the Jewish holocaust in Europe. I put it on you now because I would hate to think that, if given the chance to help wounded survivors of either crisis in 1994 or in 1944, you would have turned your back as you now do with a polite email response and a one-off discount. The world, I thought, has moved on from days of a blind eye, insensitivity, and a thick-skinned shrug of “Well, let them deal with it. They’ll come back and patronize us again sooner or later.” Am I wrong?
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I therefore thank you for your 50% one-off provision which – as I said – I will be calling to redeem. But until you respond more favourably, we will keep writing messages on your Facebook wall and sending you tweets every morning to you to make money transfer free for a limited time to Jos. Sorry Brian, but we just won’t let you off this easily. Western Union is too big a name in this business to bail out on 510,000 people (the current population of Jos) when they need you. And this little effort on your part will not kill you. I promise.
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One day when you come over to Nigeria, I might take you on a little trip in Jos to see the sites 😉 but until then, let me await your response with my last remaining optimism.
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Thank you.
Regards.