Browsing the archives for the Opinion category.

Jungle Fever

I translated a poem for my Slovenian poet and musician from English into Yoruba a few weeks ago. It was a very short but humorous piece of work. I’ve also recorded it for him in my own voice.

But while we were looking for an appropriate background sound for the poetry recital, he sent me the following:

“I put the voice of birds. This would actually stress that you read in an African language and it would give some jungle atmosphere.”

Even though the bird effect turned out pretty well in the end, I really couldn’t stop wondering about what his reasons for it really reflects. It sounds like there is definitely a wrong assumption somewhere in there. Or maybe it’s just me. There are birds in England, India and Canada too, right? If birds and the “jungle atmosphere” is enough to identify an African language, what animals would be required to make noise in the background if I were to read in an American language? A bear, perhaps? Hard rock? Or a gun shot? How far do we go until such assumptions just turn into a bunch of pointless categorizations?

It was not long ago that I discovered that many people here wouldn’t really believe that I’d never seen animals in the wild until I came to the United States. (I saw a monkey, a chimp, a gorilla, a zebra, a lion, an elephant, a camel, a fox, and an ostrich for the first time in a public zoo of what later became my University in Ibadan. I was about eight years old then. I later saw some baboons in the wild when I went to Kenya in 2005, but before then, beside dogs, chicken, cats, cattle and sheep, most of the animals I’ve seen have been in confinement.) Cougar Village alone however has a large population of deer, geese, raccoons, cats and squirrels than I’ve ever seen anywhere, walking free without confinement. And the geese are wilder than any I’ve ever seen anywhere. One day in the winter, I saw a lonely fox walking by itself on the highway close to where humans might be found walking innocently on a lonely day. Maybe Cougar Village was the kind of  jungle he meant!

Knowing The Granite City

My first intimation with Scotland beyond the picture of men in “skirts” in glossy magazines must be in the movie “Rundown” where a Scottish pilot kept saying “There are bills on the grind” when he meant that there were bulls on the ground. And then there was Craig Fergusson and a few other guys whose accents just keep you glued to the television because you can’t get enough. In this guest post, my friend and blog commenter Bukola Olawuwo writes about her experience in Aberdeen, Scotland’s third most populous city. It has an estimated population of 210,400 citizens. Enjoy.

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I always had a good laugh in the months before my arrival in Aberdeen when I informed people that I was going to Scotland. Isn’t that the place where men wear skirts? They’d say. I laughed in part because it was funny and because although I knew that men wouldn’t be running around all day in skirts, I too thought of it as “the place where men wear skirts”

It was not the skirt-clad men that grabbed my attention on my arrival though. It was the colours – or lack thereof. Every building was the same colour. Grey. My first thought was that there was a law against paints in this city. I would later learn that many of the city’s buildings constructed between the 18th and 2oth century were built with granite sourced from the city’s Rubislaw Quarry which is also said to have produced granite for paving streets in London. This earned the city the moniker the Granite City.

Of course, new, painted buildings have sprung up but these are few and far between, creating the impression that all Aberdeen buildings are the same. I for one will never forget the confusion that my inability to differentiate one building from another caused in my first few weeks here. I got lost so many times that I lost count. And I’m clueless with maps, so there goes…

Since I can’t read a map to save my life, I had to depend on people. This was another induction into the city. I found that the Aberdonian accent is a complex one, depending on the indigene’s particular area of origin. It is characterised by harsh R’s and of course there’s Doric. Doric is the local dialect/accent spoken in Aberdeen city and county. It is a variation of English but an advisory warning would probably read “interpreter needed”! My friends and I have had fun trying to decode some of the words amidst thanksgiving that none of our tutors has the acute version of the accent – that wouldn’t have been fun. A personal favourite is the word sorry which if spelled the way it is pronounced could be either “sorree” or “sorrai”, with extra emphasis on the ‘r’. Whereabouts are you going would be “far aboots are ye gaun”; no equals “nae”; house equals “hoose”…and I thought I’d be the one with an accent!

Behind the interesting accents are an equally interesting people. Aberdonians and indeed Scotsmen are very proud; of their culture and heritage. Such is their pride in their region that many are agitating for an independent Scotland; independence that is, from the collective known as the United Kingdom. This pride sometimes makes me feel a pang of shame at the new generation of Nigerian parents who proudly announce that their children don’t speak their native dialect or youths who refuse to wear African fabric. Yes, the men really wear kilts but only for ceremonial purposes and trust me, it takes either national pride or utter madness to wear a kilt in a temperature of minus 16 degrees celsius!

And madness is how the weather feels at times. We’re up North you see, so we have a customised version of the cold that’s a common feature of Scotland – an extremely colder version. And there’s the rain which never pours compared to what we get back home but is a fixture, regardless of the season. I once remarked to someone that I was living for the summer, couldn’t wait to feel warm again. She smiled at me and said “oh summer. In Aberdeen, we rock our sunshades and jackets simultaneously”. Oh well, I’ll survive.

Key to my survival here are the numerous African and Asian shops.  They cater to the needs of people like me who’re sceptical about experimenting with food and those who just want to give themselves a treat from ‘home’. I have tried some Scottish food though, my favourite being Pea and Ham soup. My reason for liking it wouldn’t be far from the fact that it tastes a lot like gbegiri with strips of meat in it; only this one is eaten on its own, not with some heavenly amala…(sigh). Haggis, a dish made from sheep’s innards is another favourite. I hear the younger generation don’t quite like it because of the ingredients used and a peculiar traditional method of preparation. Me? I grew up eating delicacies like shaki, ponmo and roundabout – of course I love it! 🙂

Seven months, snow, freezing February and lots of delicious haggis later, I can tell you that my story about Aberdeen has changed – to a large extent. When the day comes that we do not get four different seasons in one day, I just might love it but since the likelihood of that happening is almost zilch, I’ll just say, it’s a lovely place to be or as we say here, nae bad at all 🙂

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Bukola is studying for her masters in Corporate Communication and Public Affairs at the Robert Gordon University Aberdeen. Previous guestposts can be found here.

Thank you very much Bukola. A lovely postcard from KTravula.com is coming your way.

I’ve Gained Weight!

Before...

Of course I have. So what? All those fatty greasy foods have not all just totally disappeared into my system without a fight. From staying up on my bum for too long in the apartment, and working on the computer in a single spot where – in a different clime – I would have had to walk a short distance to get to the internet, and from a generally conditioned sedentary lifestyle that is not totally in my hands to change, I must have let myself go. I looked in the mirror a few day ago and found patches of flesh on my cheeks, and in different, previously ignored parts of my body’s frame.

Being a naturally restless fella, the effect of this gradual transformation has not been too devastating. What would it have been like if I didn’t have a bicycle, and I rode in the bus all the time, sitting in one spot for much of the day? Today, I can still recognize my own face and body frame in a sea of crowds, and most people who last saw me eight months ago would most likely still be able to recognize me now. But when I stand up and walk, I am not oblivious to the little drag that could only have been conditioned by weight. How did that happen? When I first got here, I weighed about eighty kilograms (176 lbs). I have not weighed myself since then to measure the fattening effect of fast food on me, but I am sure that it might be approaching 200lbs. Oh, damn you Papa John’s pizza 😀 !

After...

So we had a little discussion on weight in class yesterday which started from my curiosity about whether it is such a big deal to ask male friends if they’ve gained weight or not. I’m already aware of the strict unwritten laws against even remotely mentioning that one’s female friends looked a little bigger since the last time you saw each other. But what about male friends? Apparently – from consensus – it is the same for males as well. Very nice. But why didn’t I get the memo on this ahead? Why did I have to learn this hard truth the public arena of an American classroom? Come on, I tease my brother about his weight gain all the time!

Oh well, I’m on a new quest to discover the extent of my current weight. And God help that Nigerian friend of mine who is the first to comment that I have grown bigger. Consider this a fair advanced warning right now in the interest of our friendship and your jaw bones: DO NOT! 🙂 #okthanksbye. We are clear.

Saworoide

This is the final part of the movie Saworoide which we saw in class today. It’s been long since I saw this movie, and this last part just reminded me of the genius of the award-winning director Tunde Kelani in weaving a very traditional story of culture and responsibility into current political situations in Nigeria at the time. When it came out, it was one of the first breaths of fresh air of political art in the newly democratized Nigeria. Even for its time, it was a bold political statement. No wonder it is still a favourite till today.

I particularly liked the epilogue, featuring the ending song, and the way the actor Chief Faleti sang it: Ọrọ lẹyẹ ngbọ o, ẹyẹ kò déde bà lórùlé o... Priceless ending!

Why Did I Even Bother Too?

Tyler Perry’s latest movie is titled Why Did I Get Married Too, a sequel to the first brilliant drama Why Did I Get Married. But while the first part was brilliant, logical and very comical and stimulating, this sequel fails like the very many other sequels that seek to make money off a first brilliant idea. And while I don’t hate all sequels (Meet the Fockers lives up to expectation of a good sequel after Meet the Parents, as did Simba’s Pride and Lion King 1 1/2). But if I was asked to summarize this Tyler Perry movie in one word, it would be: “heck!”.

Don’t get me wrong, it was good as far as cinematography, characterization and acting are concerned. It even has some great laugh-out-loud scenes. But for plot, I give it a big thumbs down. And I am a Tyler Perry fan. I have seen and loved some of his earlier works like Madea’s Family Reunion and The Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I have even seen the stage performance of this Why Did I Get Married. But now after spending my money and two hours of my life in a cinema, I am left with wondering: Why? You don’t always have to make a sequel. But when you do, why not at least give the audience some credit for intelligence and the ability to discern when they’re being taken for a ride.

I know that many people, especially women will crucify me for taking this position, but luckily I am not alone. If you choose to pay your money to see it, note that the story will neither inspire nor even entertain you in any intelligent way. You will get sentimentality, but not brilliance. You will probably wish that you had gone to see Desperate Housewives instead. At least, that one is honest about its intention to sometimes take your intelligence for granted with exaggerated coincidences and plot twists. And Desperate Housewives does have some brilliant lines as well as plots. In this Tyler Perry movie, all the four couples in the first part have gotten back together for another annual retreat. What happens afterwards – I insist – is a matter for tv series and soaps, and not for the movies. As thoroughly superb as her performance in this disappointing flick is, I’m sorry to say that Janet Jackson won’t be deserving an Oscar yet. And it won’t be her fault. It will be the poor script that the director has given her to play. Maybe Mr. Perry should consider turning the “movie” into a tv series, and we can hope for him to win his Emmys someday. Until then, let me go mourn the loss of two precious hours that I will never ever get back. 🙁