ktravula – a travelogue!

reflections on the world

My Dad and I

A guest post by Angura Rani Elke

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Today is the birthday of the first man that I ever loved, my father. I met my father on October 22, 1956, you see that was the day that I was born in Jahnsi, India.

My Father’s name is Bharat Bhooshan, a second generation preacher. My Grandfather and my Papa were both ordained as Methodist Preachers. Papa moved to United States of America in the fall of  1961, reuniting with my Mama. She came here in Januarry of 1961, leaving their five children in the care of my dad’s mom. During this time my parents were doing college credits because they were here on student visas. Life was hard for them, but they were a team. They worked at anything and everything they could do to make money for their children back in India.

My parent’s worst nightmares were coming alive. My brother (their only son) lived with an aunt and was diagnosed as being an eplepitc. I was crippled by a quack of a doctor when my two sisters were in boarding school. My little sister and I lived with our grandma. Its funny to think about the past and not feel sick at what my parents were doing here and what was going on in India to their children. Physical, verbal, emotional and yes sexual abuse was going on and they had no idea. My brother finally came to America in 1963. My little sister and I came in 1964, I went into to a hospital almost right away, I somehow had gangrene up to my knee. My older sisters finally made it to America in 1965. That is when the healing began for all of us.

Papa got his first church in Northeren Wisconsin, He became a United Church of Christ Congrational preacher. We lived in Elco, Winsconsin. We were the only ”dark” people that some of them had ever seen. We lived here for three years, moved to Appleton, WI, which was another town that had never seen our kind. Wisconsin is very cold in the winter and very pleasant in the summer. Papa had his first heart attack in 1978 at the time I was living in Arizona going to college. They moved from Appleton in 1979 to Grantfork, IL. 20 miles from Edwardsville (where I now live.)

My relationship with my Papa was a very smart and loving. I was the tomboy, that wanted to learn from everything, the only one that went to college out of the five kids. I was the one that would listen to him and let him feel that I knew what he was saying. We would go for walks together. You see. I was the one when I could talk, would tell my mom that I didn’t want my diaper changed by anyone but him. So, ya stubborn was a good word. When I came to the USA, he would carry me up and down the stairs from the apartment that we lived in. When the pain was unbearable he would make a concoction of milk and brandy, it would knock me out. I loved to read books which I got from him or I bought and he would read them. I could talk to him about anything. I remember having a talk with him about getting high on pot, he said Batie (darling) I got high on Jesus Christ. I laughed and we talked about how life has more meaning with Christ in our life. Pot will make you feel good for a while but Jesus Christ will be with you forever. I miss him so much.

He had a total of four heart attacks. The last time I saw him before he went to surgery he was happy and told us his Alice was coming to get him. You see Alice was my Mama’s name. By golly she did come get him, partners forever and ever.

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I met Rani in Edwardsville, Illinois at a get-together for the Rotary visitors from Nigeria in April (I think). She’s one of the most fun adults I’ve met in my life. I hope you enjoyed reading her story which she managed to write impromptu immediately after I asked her today. I hear that Rani also means “queen” in Hindi. She could as well be an author, don’t you agree? (Previous guest-posts here.)

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India – Gender and Human Dignity

Here’s a guest post by a friend and colleague Catherine Xavier. In this write-up, she talks about the less talked-about “third gender” in India – a class of people maltreated and discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation. Read it up to see why they do not fall into the class of homosexuals or lesbians or transgenders, but a different category of men raised or conditioned from birth to behave like women. There is a Youtube video interview with one of them here, for anyone interested in further information on the matter.

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The India society is patriarchal to the core – simply stated, men rule the roost. The society in general seems to have resigned to this, while women have been forced to reconcile to be the ‘fairer sex’. However, we are a society that worships women. Our goddesses of strength, wisdom, love, and power, are all personified as women. I cannot understand that irony here; India has one of the highest rates of female infanticide and dowry-deaths, while the society and the government claim to vigorously promote the girl-child and women’s emancipation. How can a society that boasts of a rich, ancient, and varied culture simultaneously glorify and dehumanize women  – how can mythical womanhood be celebrated and worshiped in the form of a  goddess at the temple, while helpless women are subject to eve-teasing, torture, abuse, discrimination, and unspeakable indignity. I was taught as a young girl that there is greater modesty in ignoring the lewd comments from your male counterparts, as it saves a woman a lot of shame and disgrace – yes, the same society that celebrates week-long festivities in honor of women deities, while sublimely accepting its men resorting to eve-teasing, ogling, and trying to grab women’s breasts in crowded public places.

I could write a lot about the Indian mentality of gender discrimination and the stifling of individual feminine freedom. However, I choose to focus on that part of Indian sexuality and gender that is not broached by most Bollywood movies or Indian novels (You can find this on the BBC though). The simple truth is that the Indian society recognizes only two types of genders – male and female. We prefer to be oblivious to the third gender classification: the hijras or eunuchs.

Hijras are physiological males with feminine instincts. They adopt feminine identities and don feminine attires. The Indian society describes the hijras as ‘neither men nor women’ thereby, making them the most ostracized section of our society. Young boys with feminine instincts are a shame to their family and to the society. Most times, the family is not supportive because they fear social boycott; they abandon these young men who are forced to live with people like them, thought they are not their kith and kin. I doubt if our society recognizes the trauma that the family and the young man go through in this entire ordeal of family bonding, wanting to belong, social belonging, and social abandonment. Most times, the hijras are castrated and they earn a living by working as sex slaves, and by performing dances at the weddings and birth ceremonies of the so-called cream of our society.

It is so strange that though the hijras have a recorded history of living in groups in India since the 17 century, the Indian constitution does not guarantee them any rights – it does not even provide validity to the marriage of hijras. Ironically, the Hindu religious texts in India have several references to them since ancient times; while our society has never accorded them any respect.  I am sure that in the US, there is greater privacy, legal protection, and respect for human dignity of the parents and the young man involved. In India they are a joke, everyone laughs at them, pokes fun at them, and metes out violence and abuse to them – worse still, Bollywood portrays them as comic relief. They are no special schools for them, and regular boys/girls schools do not admit hijras – hence 95-96% of hijras are uneducated; carrying with them all the evils of illiteracy – who is to blame???

I just discovered today in a conversation with a friend that the Hijras are becoming a more and more organized community in India –the faint sign of conviction of their part and an utter failure of social justice on the part of the Indian society. I was happy to hear that hijras celebrate communal fellowship and festivities every year at a temple in Villupuram district of Tamilnadu in India, and this festivity encompasses their marriage to a god ( because  mortals are far too superior for the hijras, I guess), and to discuss their hijra rights. I would be very curious to see how they react – a caste of India that has endured the most unspeakable indignity and shame – they sure have a right to the heights of indignation towards a society that simply fails to acknowledge and respect human dignity. I wish a goddess could appear overnight to shed wisdom on the males and females of our society, while soothing the scars of abuse and shame endured by the hijras in India.

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Catherine is an MBA holder from Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, and a PhD student in the University of Arkansas.
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India Night

At the core of the events of yesterday evening was diversity, and India’s contribution to the world. India is the seventh-largest country in world by geographical area, the second-most populous country, and the most populous democracy in the world. It is home to one of the world’s oldest civilizations, and they gave us Yoga, Bollywood, Buddhism, long hair, Hinduism, Karma Sutra, and – as I discovered yesterday – the game of Chess, Ludo, and Snake & Ladders.

The night, just like the Africa Night, or the International Night here was for food, dancing, fashion, trivia and a general culture fest of the country. Here are pictures. it was memorable, to say the least.

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India and its Plethora of Languages

Updated

The third event in my department marking the “Discover Languages Month” took place on Wednesday and it was a talk by a graduate student of the department Catherine Xavier who spoke about India and its “Plethora of Language and Culture.”

I learnt some new things about India at this talk, one of which was that the country – as large as it is in population and land area – had only about twenty-two languages spoken in official capacity. The biggest of them was Hindi which everyone spoke and understood, but there were so many others. Much of the talk was along the lines of mine: i.e a comparison of Indian and American cultures, their similarities and differences. And from the presentation, I found that India is not much different from Nigeria as I previously thought.

One of the things she skipped however was the subject of the Karma Sutra which I believe is one of India’s biggest export to the world, and the influences of the literatures of Salman Rushdie and V.S. Naipaul – the two biggest and perhaps controversial names in Indian/English literature. According to Catherine, they were names that always stirred emotions and she had left them out in order not to make people uncomfortable or be polarizing. I do not take it against her because it doesn’t remove from the breadth of the talk, which lasted an hour and dealt with so many other things including economy, taxes, eve teasing, transportation, speech patterns, greetings and interpersonal relationship of Indians in foreign lands, and many more. As conservative as the culture in India is, it still managed to have produced a deep and colourful legacy of sensual exploration of the human body and I’d have loved to have been able to ask about it during the event. I couldn’t. It was a nice presentation over all with many laugh-out-loud moments during the talk and during some of the video clips that she played.

I love it because it was a balanced presentation of the positives and negatives of the country, unlike mine of two weeks ago which was mainly a positive representation of myself and culture. Clarissa has already accused me of being too positive about everything I observe, so it is just as well. Many of Catherine’s points reminded of me of what Nigeria and India have in common as a society. Famous Indian people in the presentation were Mother Theresa and Mohandas Gandhi.

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