The first woman took all diagnosis on the computer, asked the right questions which I answered, looked at the computer strangely and then went out to call in another man. He came in, more confident, and asked just about the same questions: do I have sore throat? No. Diarrhea? No. Anything else? No. “Just the things I told her before: fever, cold, headaches and nausea. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I’m pregnant.”

It eventually looked like all my symptoms were the normal, non-alarmist ones.  So he asked me to lie down shirt off while he poked his hands on my abdomen where all of my vital organs were: liver, spleen and colon. No problem. He examined my ears, and eyes. No problem. “The good news”, he said eventually, “is that there’s nothing here. You’re fine. The bad news however, is that I can’t give you anything to make you feel better without complicating it with other side-effects. I’d just say take a whole lot of fluids and rest. It could be one of the many common viral infections that will wear itself out in a couple of days, usually in a maximum of five. If you still feel worse after then, then run back here. And no Aspirins either. If you want anything, take Tylenol.”

 

I thanked him after a few other pleasantries and left. In this day of internet and ipad diagnosis, it’s a wonder that I had to walk all the way see a human specialist to tell me what I most likely already knew. Maybe I should just stay in bed all day tomorrow. Huh?

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