ktravula – a travelogue!

reflections on the world

Browsing ktravula – a travelogue! blog archives for the day Thursday, August 13th, 2009.

How Not To Brush Your Teeth in America

Since I forgot to bring my toothpaste from Nigeria, I had to get to the supermarket earlier today to buy one to brush my teeth with. After about an hour walking through the aisle, pretending to know where what I’m looking for was, I finally summoned the courage to ask the cashier who promptly referred me to the right aisle. And there they were, hundreds of different brands of toothpaste. I was looking for only three names: Close-up, Macleans, or Colgate. I didn’t care for any of the others.

And as I bent down to look closer, there it was: Colgate.

No, I mean, there they were:

Colgate Total Whitening
Colgate Total Advanced Whitening
Colgate Total Advanced Fresh
Colgate Total Advanced Clean
Colgate Whitening Oxygen Bubbles
Colgate Total Mint Stripe
Colgate MaxFresh with Mouthwash Beads
Colgate MaxFresh with Mini Breath Strips
Colgate Cavity protection
Colgate Whitening Paste

Right!

I went for Close-up instead.
Luckily, there was only one kind: CLOSE-UP Freshening Red Gel.

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I flew for 24 hours…

…and I’m still reeling from the time difference that is threatening to cause discomfiture in my sleeping routine.

Lagos – London Heathrow (by air) = Six hours

Dull time spent at the London Heathrow Airport terminal killing boredom, and scheming how (if only mentally, spiritually or metapThe Great Border Patrolhysically) to beat up, mug, harass, embarrass, curse, challenge, cajole, discomfit or at least mentally ignore the two UK border patrol officers who both (without speaking to one another) repeated the same painful and insulting words that we (my female co-passenger from Lagos and I) could never be given the permission to enter the UK like we had pleaded, to shop or sight-see, or even just to stretch our tired legs for the very few hours that we would otherwise spend lazing around the lounge of the airport while we wait for the boarding time of our next flight out of their town, even when we showed them our American visas and boarding passes = five hours

London – Logan International Airport, Boston (by air) = Seven hours

Time spent waiting for bags to appear from the underground tunnel = One hour

Boston – Brown University, Rhode Island (by road) = One and a half hours.

Time spent checking in, meeting my fellow scholars, having smalltalk, and drooling over this superfast campus broadband/WiFi, and checking out the great old songs by Sonny Okosuns and other matters on the fastest loading YouTube I’ve ever seen, while forgetting that a delicious Pizza (eating for the first time) left cold is not always so delicious anymore, even in America, and discovering that I am indeed lucky to have been chosen to go on this trip, which I won’t trade for anything in the world right now as my phone buzzes to tell me that I have received two more text messages from Nigeria without having to change my phone or MTN line, and that the last call I received was also on this same line, charged to the caller like a local call to no liability to me = Four hours

Yea, I know, that makes it all more than 24hours if you add them all up. It’s 12.33am here at the moment, and I assume by what I see on my Naija-set wristwatch that it’s 6.33am at home. I have indeed spent more than 24 hours traveling, and due to the interesting explanation of geography that I’ve been flying in the same direction as the sun, I have cheated myself and got into a big debt of about six hours on non-sleep. I’ve got to sleep now. Debt must be paid. This is America, after all. America the beautiful.

(if only mentally, spiritually or metapThe Great Border Patrolhysically)
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